I wanted to write, maybe because in writing you can be something new because out there there is so much. This is what happens with every type of art, it will always be a waste of time, because something new only grows on empty fields and before it happens, it is a waste.
To create is a human power that we don’t really care about, but at the same time it can be the only real thing that you are. There is so much in the world, different types of food, clothes, brands, experiences, but art allows us to be something new so we can really become ourselves and understand ourselves not as a product of what is already in there, but as our own painting.
The process is absurd, somehow we are capable of beginning this new something out of the void, and that is art, art is even the toilet, it came from our human heads and capability to create. It can be that there was no beginning, but there was a nothing. I like to place words one by one, they call it writing. That way there are so many things to happen. I don’t know where my sorrow is placed but I’m certainly more than her by the moment there is something to be written and told to the reader.
So a wasted time will never be a wasted time, it will be fully and completely you being whatever you are. Meditation is all about that, for example, only it seeks to provide you guidance, observe what you’re thinking, let it go. So make it every waste of time a meditation, let your thoughts go and flow.
We know the distinction between a good feeling and a bad one, but I would say that a wise spirit (consequently a happy one) tries to go further on the pursuit of self-knowledge, and that is why I’m bringing the distinction between Pleasure and Enjoyment that I found in this paper on Positive Psychology by Seligman, the father of this field.
“Pleasure is the good feeling that comes from satisfying homeostatic needs such as hunger, sex, and bodily comfort. Enjoyment, on the other hand, refers to the good feelings people experience when they break through the limits of homeostasis, in an athletic event, an artistic performance, a good deed, a stimulating conversation”
Now I’ve recently discovered this, I honestly feel relieved to find this field on Psychology that studies happiness, it makes everything lighter for me. We are this big ball of confusion and different thoughts and feelings, and to just name it, is to differentiate from everything else that is going on. Anxiety, for example, it is not a primary feeling, it is just a defense mechanism so you don’t feel the pain from your real feelings, that is why recognizing what you’re feeling is so good to prevent anxiety, the second you give it a name like “sadness” , it is the first step for your body to understand and accept to be sad and not anxious. The same works for pleasure and enjoyment, it makes your experience of these two states more enjoyable.
Food relationship, food philosophy?
So I as said before, I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder and I always end up relating everything that I read with this problem, or at least when it is most prominent in my life as it is lately. In the food world, the distinction could also apply, there is the food that gives you pleasure, it relieves your basic needs, and the food that brings enjoyment, it goes beyond caloric needs and it is everything else about it, like the process of cooking or the arrangement of different flavors and shapes. It is not a real division like “oh, this hamburger will only bring you pleasure and this salad will only bring you joy”, it is more like “there is one pleasurable side and one enjoyable side in each food “. When I binge the pleasure side keeps rolling even though I don’t feel joy anymore, the food stops tasting that good which can make me eat more as to try getting that feeling once again. My belly can even hurt from so much food, but the evolutionary search for calories plus the industrialized food that it is available makes it hard to stop. But once you recognize the food has stopped tasting so good, or by other words, when you recognize you don’t feel joy anymore, it can get easier with time. Sometimes I forget checking this, and I realize I’m overeating because the food stopped tasting good for some time and I’m still there, but then I stop. Other times I realize it stopped being enjoyable and keep it going because nobody is perfect and you know how hard it is, so I try not to blame myself and stop when I can. It really helps. Really wish to help someone with the disorder, it has been 7 years that I deal with it, I feel like I can help but will ever someone actually read this?
And enjoy the enjoyable!
But don’t focus on the exact moment to repeal the food, Positive Psychology teaches us to look on the positive side, right? Enjoy the enjoyable side of your food too, feel the texture, the flavors, how they mix with each other. That way you’ll even recognize faster when they stop being so prominent, and that is when you’re satisfied.
Yesterday I ate at Bife, I was very happy to find two vegetarian options, I chose the Mediterranean with curd cheese and pesto, my god how these two blended with each other. I gave my fried cassava to my friend since from the first bite they didn’t appeal to me, let’s say I didn’t felt the enjoyable part of it (and since I recognized that, I could let it go).
So now you know where my mind is wondering, trough the dump places of pessimism. But why did I created this site? I’m not entirely sure, but there is something to do with my binge eating, to those who do not know what that is, is simply eating a lot, like, a lot, with the simple difference from normal overeating that it can actually hurt. When these episodes begin you can eat thousands of calories in just thirty minutes. It sucks. I was okay three weeks before but it came this urge to eat that I needed to answer, food is good, gosh. But anyway, I was binge eating and I looking the film Julie & Julia, and I thought, okay, I don’t need to cook two really hard dishes a day, but I could write about something. I’m sorry to disappoint that I don’t really know what.
What was I thinking when I assign myself to Psychology? I am beginning to be sure this is one of the reasons I am going crazy. I may not be that strong to try and see what is inside. But that is where I am, I course Psychology at a University. Hi. My life is pretty much messed up, at least in my head. I’ve been using my bed a lot lately, I’ve been claiming my right to my bed. My bed, my right. Who says I need to study, to produce anything new to the world? Who said I wanted to come into this world anyway? They throw you in here, and you’re supposed to do something with it, uh. Well, the truth is (and that was when my relation to my bed started to get more intimate) I realized I am poor. I have a place to be, food to eat and a bath to bath, but I mean, I don’t want to drag you down with me, but if you think about it… Okay, we know for a fact that money makes it possible for you to live more experiences, right? And consequently, you’ll be more happy, that is right. So, think about it, according to The Guardian in 2017 1% of the population owns half of the world’s health, where are we on that? Do you even know what real money is? Do you even know all the experiences you could have? We are trapped to looking at movies of rich people, we see life through a screen, but we could be living it, we just don’t have any money. Money, money, money. That is why people do such crazy things for it. And that is why I’m being such a pessimist about it, my life is not at 1% of what it could be, if only I didn’t know that, I would at least try more, I think.